Four years

My profile now officially reads "after FOUR years in LV...." (February 13 came and went quite uneventfully this year, with me slugging on the couch with my kleenex box battling a particularly unfriendly cold), but the sentence continues to read "I'm still trying to make sense of it all." Wondering if/when I might get to edit the rest of that sentence, but I'm starting to think that just might be part of it all.

To my faithful readers who are still waiting for LV as home, Part 2 (and to myself, disappointed for still not being able to fully articulate)... I guess that is what this whole blog is about... If I could put it into words in a nice neat sentence, I'd do it, but I sincerely struggle with it. Instead I can only offer photographs or anecdotes which give small insights into what I'm feeling, but there is no nutshell for me. At least not yet. Maybe by year 5?

I can only say I've come up with the realization that a lot of the things I love about being here could be summed as storybook moments. They're small glimpses into all the wonderful and beautiful things we learned and experienced about LV while growing up elsewhere, and to be able to experience them firsthand and more often than just while vacationing here but really being part of it, make up one piece of the puzzle as to why LV feels like home. Like last week, it made me smile out loud again to hear someone's ringtone on the train - a well-loved Latvian folksong. I have no idea who that person is, but it's a small instant connection. It's the little stuff...

Hmmmmm.....did any of that actually make sense? Could be my stuffy sick head still talking....that being said, I think it's time to get off the cat's schedule (sleeping 20 or so hours a day) and consider cleaning this pighole. KB is still recovering from surgery and even though we've both been down for the count, we have not been able to convince Mims to pitch in with the housework, thus the mega-mess. You see, life is still life everywhere, and in between the storybook moments, there's still cleaning to be done.

*** P.S. A little bit more reflection after cleaning....

The final part of that first sentence in my profile reads "but always with a smile...." Lately I feel like that smile has faded and maybe that's why it's a bit harder for me to write. But I look at the rest of what I have written - about the storms being a bit stormier, the sun shining a bit brighter....and rainbows through it all. It's been a heavily stormy period - watching this country not really be able to take care of itself yet, watching people around me lose faith in this place even as I'm struggling to hang on to my own, feeling exhausted from constantly trying to make ends meet, saying good-bye to friends who are family over and over again....but I'm still hopeful that means there are some seriously bright days coming ahead as a law of averages. And I am well overdue for a rainbow. Good thing spring is just around the corner.