Fascinating. I was looking back through some of my posts from last spring (mainly looking for a quote about spring that I wasn't sure if I had already posted) and re-read last year's birthday post. I now have a theory. I don't do well with birthdays that have to do with the number 13. Last year's post outlined my difficulties with my 13th birthday and my 26th birthday (double 13). This year's birthday (the REVERSE of 13) was another one that will go down in the books as traumatic in the reflective department.
This is the first birthday where my number makes me feel old. Yes, I know, age is just a number, and I've always been more or less ok with the numbers (strangely minus the years that relate to 13, I am discovering)... I always get comments that I don't look my age, so as the numbers have gone up, I've always been able to "feel" young regardless. 30 was still an ok year for me - I guess because although there were things I had envisioned for myself by 30, it was still my 30th year so I still had time to make it happen. But now that this year has come and gone, I have a bit of reconciling to do with why certain goals are not met. This is the first moment in my life I've really come across this feeling of an actual possibility of running out of time in life.
In a way, moments like this are good, they put fire under you to keep your goals and dreams fresh. However, at the same time, it's a reminder to slow down and enjoy what you have and trust that everything else will work itself out. Thus also the quote about spring I was looking for.... I couldn't find the one I was actually looking for, but the idea is quite close to this:
"No winter lasts forever, no spring skips its turn."
Be patient. Be happy in the moment you have. Trust that everything will come to you in the right moment. Even if you think you know exactly when that right moment is (because quite frankly in my opinion, spring should be making it's entrance now!), the earth has bigger plans and it knows what's best. Spring will not forget about you.....be patient.
I think the quote I was looking for referred to the sun and the moon, and the seasons as well - they don't hurry each other along, they give each other their time and patiently arrive when it is their turn.
So, just as I can't dictate that spring will arrive on March 21, even if the calendar says so, I suppose I can't dictate certain goals just because my birthday calendar says so. I'll follow the lead of the sun/moon and the seasons, and my goal for this year is patience and appreciation for the moment.
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